sex quotes page 1

140 char,    160 char,    All length

, 91 character

My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

      

, 108 character

Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!

      

, 126 character

What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut will have sex with anyone, a bitch will have sex with anyone but you.

      

, 105 character

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

      

, 98 character

The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.

      

, 108 character

What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

      

, 93 character

My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy... so I got drunk.

      

, 62 character

Why do men like masturbation? It's sex with someone they love.

      

, 107 character

A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home.

      

, 75 character

What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"? About three inches.

      
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